Chicken Soup          - 16/7/2006      <--Prev : Next-->

Chicken Soup

WHEN We last took a trip to the First World, I took it upon myself
to 
stock up on  some amazing new cold and flue remedies, in
preparation 
for my Annual Winter Cold !!

Chloraseptic Antiseptic Throat Spray for "Fast relief, Real Fast" !!

Vicks First Defence Nasal spray "Fights cold germs before they can 
take hold" !!

FIRST DEFENCE ! "Get that cold before it gets you" !!

Theraflue Night Tome "for Severe Colds" to knock you out cold
during 
the small hours, Theraflue Daytime for Severe Colds so that you can 
get around during the day without a nosebag and a fistful of soggy 
tissues.

I had every analgesic, bronchiodilator and decongestant known to
man, 
my suitcase fairly clanking with phials and vials !!

With a smug self satisfied feeling, I covetously carried my
unguents, 
elixirs and embrocations back home, safe in the knowledge that no 
darn bug would get the better of me this winter !!!

Only to find Heehoo a complete bundle of germs after 24 hours in
the 
plane air conditioning and seriously in need of my precious but 
private dispensary !!

I was caught out completely for offering him the local cold-caps
and 
flumel, Choats Extract of Lettuce and Pynstop..... and it was only 
after he got me in a vice like Half Nelson that I reluctantly
agreed 
to do the ethical thing and share !!

Dosing himself liberally with my secret stash, dispensing my cache
of 
cachets with gay abandon, he soon felt on top of the world leaving
me 
with naught but a panacea of protestations !!

Hot on Heehoos heels Charlie our faithful retainer then developed
the 
sniffles and he, after casting longing glances at my private 
pharmacy, forced my better nature to allow him some of my dastardly 
drugs, and then of course it was all over. Mother Hubbards muti 
cupboard was totally bare !!

And so back to basics it will have to be - if YOU have a cold -
don't 
come anywhere near me !!

Or I shall have to resort to those age old remedies that "Mother
Used 
to Make "

Disprin ......... Mother swore that Disprin would cure everything 
including warts .....

Friars Balsam ....... hang your aching head over a basin of
steaming 
Friars Balsam, under a towel and that stuffy nose is unstuffed 
completely.

Cough muti, made from freshly stewed prickly pears !! And Cream of 
Tartare from the Baobab Tree ground into a fine powder for a stuffy 
nose !!

SNIFF SNORT SNUFFLE COUGH SNEEZE AAAAAA TISCHOO ............

---